Love in the Face of Hate

I never knew I could hate this much until she came.

How would you feel when the man you love sets His eye on another woman? How will you respond to the people who teased them towards each other? What will you do with the pain that they have caused you? These questions haunted me for months.

I’ve been speaking and teaching about forgiveness for years. I thought I knew what forgiveness is after wrestling with it for years after the devastating havoc I faced when my parents parted ways. But no, I haven’t learned that much about forgiveness until my own relationship started to fall apart. The man whom I loved fell on a blinding trap placed by an enemy as we went through the renovation of our hearts. Yes, he got himself involved with another woman. I prayed for him in those days I was chasing God because I was hungry and thirsty for Him. In the midst of my obedience was his battle towards obedience.

The woman whom he got himself involved with was teased to him by people I never knew could think of using other people to mend a broken heart. They were set on circumstances where they could be each other’s crying shoulder. They were encouraged to be each other’s confidants in the midst of their painful circumstances. They went out together – ate out, watched a movie at the cinema and exchanged late-night messages. He started sending him signals of interest like giving her foods, chocolates, and short notes which the woman proudly uploads on Twitter. What’s worse is he started rebuilding our relationship while they were still getting to know each other deeper. I was in distress. In my desperation, I started meeting people who could give me a better view of what’s going on. I was not easily convinced of his love for me.

It took him months to rebuild my trust and it took me months to forgive them as well. I became bitter to all of them – to him, to the woman and to the people involved. I cry in anger as I reflect on the fact that the man I love did not bleed Bible when he got pricked using his very own idol, our relationship. I was completely frustrated. We both suffered from my bitterness and resentment. I became doubtful of his intentions, critical with his decisions, and uncertain about him being worth the wait and worth the second chance. On Hearts Day, I was about to let go – I almost gave upon us. But the reassurance of his love for me changed the course of my heart. At the peak of my hopelessness was the Father’s voice telling me to forgive.

I was convicted by God to be gracious. “Grace Lord?” I asked. “I don’t think he deserves grace,” I whined. “Do you deserve grace?” the Lord asked. I found myself squirming. Grace is unmerited favor. I don’t deserve it either. My eyes went back to the cross. In there I saw what grace and forgiveness are. God’s grace was not based on who I am but on who He is. How could I, a child of God, forget about grace and forgiveness? My heart was revealed. It has been corrupted by sin. The enemy got me on his trap. But my Savior drew me with His hand just as he drew Peter when he started to sink on a stormy sea.

“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven”, Jesus said. He added, “You are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect”. Jesus is calling me to love them and pray for them because I am to be the daughter of our Father. So how might we be children of God by our love in the face of hate? Because that is what God is like. God loves his enemies, and He intercedes for those who persecute Him. By this act of loving and praying for our enemies, we grow in conformity with God.  

So I started praying for the people who attempted to “merge” them together. I prayed that they will realize that putting people who are wounded from their past relationships on a new one will only lead to temporal healing. Instead, they are to lead them to Christ for He alone can mend a broken heart and transform it for His name’s sake. I prayed for the woman and her relationship with her best friend. I prayed that I will be able to forgive her and be able to move on from the pain she has caused me through the photos she proudly uploaded of her social media accounts. I prayed that their relationship will grow. I prayed for our families because they’ve been hurt too because of what happened to our relationship. I continued praying for my man – that he will be conformed to our Father, be deeply rooted and grounded in faith so that He will not be easily swayed when temptations come and that He will be a man after God’s own heart. I prayed and I will continue to pray not just for them and for others but also for myself. What do I pray? Only God knows. Those are just but a glimpse.

I never knew I could love this much until I learned how to pray for the people who were used by God to reveal my heart.