Quality > Quantity

I came home with a heavy heart once this week. I felt so strong for having held my tears throughout that day. I was at the verge of giving up people whom I treasured long. I was at the tip of saying words which have the power to break friendships that were built for years. I felt so strong for having held those bitter words which could haunt me for the rest of my life. Praise God for the strength to keep quiet and keep myself distant in the midst of brewing rage. 

I languidly entered my husband's office. He was giving an intervention to one of his learners when I arrived so I had the time to cool down and process my emotion on his swivel chair. I focused my gaze on the ceiling, tried to push back my tears, and worked on normalizing my breathing. I was too tied up on trying to be okay that I wasn't able to notice my husband staring at me. I just suddenly felt his warm hand on mine. When our eyes met, I knew right then that I couldn't put back my broken pieces on my own. He pulled me close to him. He gave me the tightest hug and I cried on his arms. All those tears I held that day were poured on his arms. The whump of his electric fan, laughter of students outside his office, and occasional notification sound from his laptop are all the sound I could hear. When my tears were all poured out and I could finally compose myself somehow, he sat up straight without losing his grip on my hands. I then told him everything that made me feel bad that day. Nothing was hidden from him. He listened patiently and wrapped me again with his arms after I poured everything out. All he ever said was, "Just continue doing your thing. You don't have to increase the quantity of your friends. Quality matters even if you'll just end up having four." 

Yesterday, I've done something revolutionary. My husband who was there at my lowest point this week rejoiced with me on my highest point too. Looking at him, I couldn't help but thank God for making him my husband. Grace, grace, undeserved grace...